Important Things To Remember For Parents Of Addicts

Discover important things to remember for parents of addicts; from understanding addiction to setting boundaries.

Published On

May 14, 2024

Dove Recovery's Team

Important Things To Remember For Parents Of Addicts

Understanding Addiction in Parents

Recognizing the reality of substance use disorders (SUDs) in parents is critical to providing the necessary support and resources, not only for the individuals struggling with addiction but also for their children.

Impact on Children

When a parent struggles with an SUD, the effects are not contained within the individual but ripple out to impact the entire family unit. Approximately 8.7 million children aged 17 or younger lived in U.S. households with at least one parent who had a substance use disorder (SUD), representing about 12.3 percent of children in this age group [1].

The presence of an SUD in a parent can significantly affect a child's life. Children with a parent who has an SUD are more likely than children who do not have a parent with an SUD to have lower socioeconomic status and increased difficulties in academic and social settings and family functioning.

Moreover, the effects of a substance use disorder are felt by the whole family and can include unmet developmental needs, impaired attachment, economic hardship, legal problems, emotional distress, and violence.

Risk Factors

Children who are exposed to a parent with SUDs are more likely to develop SUD symptoms themselves [1]. This indicates that there are risk factors inherent within the familial environment that can increase a child's susceptibility to developing an SUD.

It's important to note, however, that having a parent with an SUD does not guarantee that a child will develop an SUD themselves. There are many variables involved, such as the child's individual temperament, the presence of supportive relationships outside the home, and the child's ability to access and utilize coping mechanisms.

Understanding the impact of parental addiction on children and the associated risk factors is one of the important things to remember for parents of addicts. This understanding lays the foundation for seeking appropriate help and resources, supporting the parent with addiction, and providing necessary care for the affected children.

Supporting a Parent with Addiction

When a parent struggles with addiction, it profoundly affects the entire family system. The following are some important things to remember for parents of addicts, helping to navigate this challenging journey.

Family Support

Family support plays a major role in helping a loved one with mental and substance use disorders. Approaches like family therapy and support groups can enhance treatment effectiveness by supporting the whole family. These interventions can promote understanding, foster empathy, and enhance coping skills within the family unit. By creating an environment of acceptance and non-judgment, families can play a pivotal role in the recovery journey of their loved one. Family systems theory provides a framework for understanding these dynamics, emphasizing the interdependence of family members and the impact of one member's behavior on the entire family system.

Caregiver Health Prioritization

In the process of supporting a loved one with a substance use disorder, caregivers should prioritize their own health. The unique challenges involved in this process can be emotionally and physically taxing. Caregiver stress, if unchecked, can lead to burnout or health problems, undermining the ability to provide care effectively. Recognizing the importance of self-care and seeking support for oneself is crucial. This could involve seeking professional help, joining a support group, or simply ensuring regular rest and relaxation.

Effective Communication

Communication plays a critical role in supporting a parent with a mental illness or substance use disorder. Family members often notice changes in mood or behavior in their loved ones. It's vital to open channels of communication about these observations, expressing concern, and offering support. Such conversations should be approached with empathy, respect, and understanding, avoiding blame or judgment. Offering support can help connect them with treatment, resources, and services for their recovery journey. Remember, the goal is to foster an environment that encourages the parent to seek help voluntarily, enhancing the likelihood of successful recovery.

Seeking Help and Resources

When you're a parent of an addict, one of the most important things to remember is that there are resources available to help you navigate through this challenging journey. From national helplines to community-based programs, and specific supports for Indigenous populations, there's an array of services that can provide assistance.

SAMHSA National Helpline

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Helpline is a resource for individuals and their families facing substance use disorders. The helpline is confidential, free, and available 24/7, 365 days a year. In 2020, SAMHSA's National Helpline received 833,598 calls, marking a 27 percent increase from 2019 when the helpline received 656,953 calls for the year. This indicates the broad reach and impact of this resource.

If a family member needs help with a mental or substance use disorder, they can call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357), text their zip code to 435748 (HELP4U), or use FindTreatment.gov to get help.

Community-Based Programs

For parents of addicts in Canada, there are various support services available. These include Parent-to-Parent Support and Online Parent Support Groups that provide an avenue for sharing experiences and gaining insights from others facing similar challenges. They can also reach out to a toll-free helpline at 1-866-366-3667 [5].

In addition, parents seeking help with substance use-related issues can access resources through Canada-wide services such as calling 1-800-668-6868 or texting 686868 for support [5].

Indigenous Support Programs

Recognizing the unique needs and cultural contexts of Indigenous populations, there are specialized programs and resources for Indigenous peoples. These include the National Native Alcohol and Drug Abuse Program and the National Youth Solvent Abuse Program, which offer culturally appropriate treatment and prevention services.

Indigenous parents of addicts can also access a list of treatment centers that cater specifically to their needs [5].

In conclusion, seeking help is a vital step towards recovery for both the parent and the child dealing with addiction. These resources provide valuable support and can make a significant difference in dealing with the complex challenges of addiction.

Helping Children of Addicts

When dealing with addiction in a parent, it's important to remember that children are heavily affected. They often experience lower socioeconomic status and increased difficulties in academic and social settings and family functioning [1]. Children often bear the brunt of the consequences, and it's important to address their needs during this challenging time.

Addressing Guilt and Blame

Children who grow up with a parent struggling with substance use disorders (SUDs) are more likely to develop SUD symptoms themselves. They may feel a sense of guilt and blame, believing that they are somehow responsible for their parent's addiction. It's important to help them understand that they are not to blame for their parent's actions and that addiction is a disease that requires professional help.

Household Type	Children with Parent with SUD (%)
Two-parent households	13.9
Single-parent households	8.4

Data courtesy of SAMHSA

Providing Support and Understanding

Children affected by parental substance abuse are at higher risk for a wide range of mental and emotional disorders, including eating disorders, behavior disorders, anxiety disorders, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance use disorders [2]. Providing them with professional support, such as therapy or counselling, can help them understand their feelings and cope with their experiences. Parents and caregivers should also aim to create a safe, understanding environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions.

Building Trust and Connection

Children who have a parent with an SUD often take on caregiving roles at a young age, potentially leading to feelings of responsibility and stress. To help alleviate these burdens, encourage children to engage in silliness and playfulness. This allows them to experience being children and can help build a stronger connection between the child and the non-addicted parent or caregiver. Trust is crucial in these situations and is built by consistently providing love, understanding, and support.

Understanding the impacts of addiction on children and offering them the necessary support is an essential part of the recovery process. By addressing guilt and blame, providing support and understanding, and building trust and connection, parents and caregivers can help children navigate this challenging time.

Setting Boundaries as a Parent

One of the most important things to remember for parents of addicts is the necessity of setting boundaries. Boundaries, as per the Partnership to End Addiction, are a crucial measure that brings control and sanity into the situation.

Differentiating Boundaries from Rules

It is essential to understand that boundaries are different from rules. While rules are set and followed by everyone, boundaries help direct your actions when rules are not applicable or relevant. Boundaries allow you to control your own actions instead of trying to control the behavior of the addicted individual. Thus, it's crucial to differentiate between the two and establish boundaries that align with your values.

Importance of Boundaries

Boundaries should be seen as a self-imposed security measure rather than a solid, impenetrable barrier. They act like a rope line that delineates where one should not go, with clear consequences for crossing that line. While there may be instances where crossing the line is necessary, there will be consequences to face. Understanding the flexibility and reasoning behind the boundaries set is crucial.

Setting boundaries is a successful way to assist both yourself and your child in dealing with substance use struggles. By setting limits and establishing consequences for stepping outside those limits, you can bring a sense of control and sanity to a challenging and chaotic situation caused by addiction.

Setting Boundaries Effectively

Setting boundaries should be done after much calm and reasoned thought. Trying to set boundaries during heated situations often leads to failure, especially if those "boundaries" are actually rules being yelled at the addicted individual instead of being set for oneself. Success in setting boundaries for yourself can be more easily achieved when approached deliberately and calmly.

To set effective boundaries:

Begin by identifying your limits. What behaviors are you willing to accept? What behaviors are you not willing to accept?
Communicate these boundaries clearly to your child. Be clear and consistent in your communication.
Decide on the consequences if the boundaries are crossed. Make sure the consequences are appropriate and something you are prepared to follow through on.
Follow through with the consequences if the boundaries are crossed. This is crucial for maintaining respect and understanding of the boundaries set.

By setting boundaries, parents of addicts can navigate the challenging journey of addiction with a sense of control and sanity. It's a difficult path, but with the right support, resources, and tools, parents can help their children while also taking care of their own well-being.

Signs of Substance Use in Children

When it comes to substance use in children, early detection is key. Recognizing the signs and intervening early can help prevent further harm and increase the chances of a successful recovery. Here are some important things to remember for parents of addicts.

Behavioral Changes

Identifying substance use in children can be challenging, as many signs overlap with symptoms of mental health issues like depression or anxiety. However, parents should not overlook significant changes in behavior, mood, hygiene, and appearance as potential indicators of substance abuse.

These changes may include:

Sudden shifts in mood or personality
A decline in academic performance
Loss of interest in favorite activities
Secretive behavior
Unusual need for money

Physical Indicators

Physical signs can also be indicative of substance use. Parents are advised to have face-to-face conversations with their children after they come home from social gatherings, as the smell of alcohol or smoke can linger on their breath, clothes, and hair. Additionally, physical signs such as red, heavy-lidded eyes with small pupils (indicative of marijuana use), or enlarged pupils and difficulty focusing (often associated with alcohol use) could suggest substance use. Parents should also watch for behavioral cues like clumsiness, excessive laughter, sullenness, fatigue, or nausea [7].

Searching for Evidence

If parents have reason to suspect substance abuse, they are advised to search their child's personal spaces. This includes common hiding places for vapes, alcohol, drugs, or paraphernalia. Additionally, parents shouldn't overlook their child's digital devices, such as cell phones, as they may contain clues or evidence of drug use in messages or social media posts.

While this might feel invasive, remember that substance use during the teen and young adult years can negatively impact brain development, which continues until the mid-20s or later. Therefore, early intervention is critical if parents suspect their teen is using substances.

Finally, while it may be uncomfortable, parents should not shy away from asking direct questions like "Have you been drinking, vaping, or using drugs?" Being prepared for potential responses and subsequent actions can be the first step toward addressing substance use concerns with a child.