Supporting a Loved One: How To Help Someone Get Sober

Substance use disorder is a social disease. It impacts not just the person with the disorder, but their family and friends. It can make you feel helpless to watch someone you love sink deeper and deeper into the clutches of drugs and alcohol. 

However, you are not powerless against substance use disorder. If you want to help someone you love get sober, there is action that you can take. Read on to learn more about how substance use disorder can impact everyone and how to best help someone get sober and stay sober.

Table of Contents

• 10 Effective Strategies for Helping Someone Get Sober
• Dove Recovery Center: Personalized, Compassionate Care for Substance Use Disorders

If your loved one suffers from substance use disorder, they may feel like their life is spinning out of control. Here are some tips to support someone with substance use disorder and help them get sober from drugs and/or alcohol.

#1: Use the Term “Substance Use Disorder,” Not “Addiction”

Words matter, especially in recovery. Traditionally, people who struggled with alcohol and drugs were referred to as “addicts.” However, referring to someone as an addict can make getting sober more difficult. 

The labels “addiction” and “addict” are degrading and tend to dilute the person's identity to their struggles. The stigma associated with these words makes the person feel that they are only their problems, and that can lead to relapse. 

Instead of addiction, use the term substance use disorder. When helping someone get sober, you want them to know that you see them as more than a “junkie” or a “drunk.” Helping someone get sober from drugs or alcohol is all about positioning it as you vs the substance use disorder and not you vs them.

#2: Take Care of Yourself 

If you are wondering how to help get someone sober, it's important to factor yourself into the equation. 

You can’t help anyone if you are burned out. So make sure to take time for self-care, and set healthy boundaries (more on that later). If you find that your support role in helping someone get sober is overwhelming, it is okay to step back until you are feeling better.

#3: Have Patience 

Most people want to know how to help someone get sober fast. Substance use disorders can develop quickly, and many hope that they can dissipate just as quickly. Unfortunately, that is not the case. 

Substance use disorder is a chronic, often lifelong illness. Relapses and other setbacks are common. If you want someone to stay sober, be prepared to work with them for the long haul. Have patience and accept that people with substance disorders may relapse and have to face consequences for their actions, such as getting in trouble with the law or losing their driver’s license. 

It is important to forgive them for slipping up, while also refusing to shield them from the consequences of their substance use disorder.

#4: Show Your Support By Setting an Example

A great way to support a loved one's sobriety is to practice a healthy lifestyle yourself. You don’t have to be sober, but it can help. By living a healthy life, you show your loved one what they can look forward to when they are sober.

#5: Offer Support, Not Ultimatums

Watching a loved one struggle with substance abuse is harrowing. It can be tempting to try to “snap them out of it” with threats, lectures, or even bribery. 

However, the reality is that you cannot force someone to get sober. People with substance use disorder must want to get sober. Until then, nothing you say or do can force them into it. You can only offer support for a healthier lifestyle.

#6: Learn About Substance Use Disorder and Recovery

One of the best ways to support a loved one's sobriety is to understand what they are going through. Take some time to learn more about substance use disorder and how it impacts the brain. SAMHSA has some great resources to help the families of loved ones who are struggling with alcohol and/or drug use. 

If you want to help a loved one get sober, consider contacting Dove Recovery for addiction treatment in Columbus, Ohio. At Dove Recovery, we strive to be the last call you have to make. We can help you discuss your loved ones' treatment options and give you informed advice on how to proceed.

#7: Do Not Use Your Love, Comfort, or Their Past Against Them

Substance use disorder affects not only the person who has it but everyone who loves them. When helping someone get sober it can be tempting to remind your loved one of all the suffering their substance abuse caused them (and you). 

However, this focus on the negative can have counterintuitive effects, as shame is a big trigger for relapse. When helping someone get sober from alcohol, try to keep the focus on the future instead of the past. Therapy is a great tool to help someone with substance use disorder unpack their shame in a healthy way.

#8: Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is tough, especially when you love someone suffering from substance use disorder. Sometimes it can feel like you are running from crisis to crisis. 

Unfortunately, it is impossible to prevent your loved one from suffering the consequences of their substance use. You can support someone getting sober without getting dragged down if you set healthy boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries looks different for everyone, but it always involves offering love and support while letting your loved one deal with the repercussions of their actions.

 #9: Recognize the Signs of a Relapse 

Relapse is an unfortunate but common part of the recovery process, especially for people suffering from alcohol use disorder, as alcohol is so prevalent in our culture. If you want to support a loved one’s sobriety, be on the lookout for signs of relapse such as:

• Returning to places associated with substance use 
• Reminiscing/glamorizing prior substance use 
• Suspicious changes in mood 
• Sudden contempt for, or disinterest in, sobriety and sober events 

If you suspect that your loved one is relapsing, it is time to get help. Consider reaching out to a treatment center like Dove Recovery. Even if your loved one refuses treatment, we can help you find resources to lay healthy boundaries and support them in a meaningful way.

#10: Remember That You Have Help

If you are trying to help a loved one get sober, you are not alone. 

Treatment centers like Dove Recovery are a great resource for people affected by substance use disorder. With a wide variety of treatment options including outpatient and inpatient, as well as medically supervised, we offer care with respect for people suffering from substance use disorder.

If love alone could cure substance use disorders, this condition wouldn’t exist. Substance use disorder is very complicated and includes factors of chemical imbalances and brain function with trauma and poor coping mechanisms. Love alone cannot fix it. 

You cannot force someone to get sober, nor can you act as a treatment center on your own. You need help, and that's where Dove Recovery comes in. At Dove Recovery, we want to be the last phone call you have to make. Reach out today and learn how we can support you and your loved ones on the path to lifelong sobriety.