In Recovery, Sometimes You Fake It Until You Make It

Discover the power of 'fake it until you make it' in recovery. Learn strategies for resilience and empowerment.

Published On

May 13, 2024

Dove Recovery's Team

In Recovery, Sometimes You Fake It Until You Make It

Understanding Faking It Till You Make It

Navigating through the complexities of life often requires a combination of resilience and optimism. One popular strategy that people use in challenging situations is the concept of "faking it till you make it."

Definition and Purpose

"Faking it till you make it" is a phrase that signifies the process of consciously cultivating an attitude, feeling, or perception of competence that one doesn't currently possess by pretending until it becomes a reality. This strategy can be a powerful tool in personal development and mental health recovery, as it encourages individuals to step outside of their comfort zones and strive towards their goals.

This approach is often used in recovery practices, where it can help individuals build resilience and adapt to new ways of thinking and behaving. When done correctly, "faking it till you make it" can lead to genuine growth and change. However, it's important to understand the different approaches to this strategy and how they can impact one's well-being.

Different Approaches to Faking It

There are three main ways to implement the "fake it till you make it" strategy, each with their own potential benefits and drawbacks (BetterUp Blog):

Acting As If: This approach involves aligning behaviors and attitudes with the person you aspire to become. It can be supported by visualization techniques like positive affirmations and vision boards. This method can be healthy and beneficial as it encourages personal growth and self-improvement.
Nod and Smile: This technique involves agreeing or pretending to understand something to keep conversations or interactions moving along smoothly. While it can help to preserve emotional energy, it may also lead to impostor syndrome and hinder learning and growth if used improperly.
Pretending Everything's Fine: This approach involves suppressing emotions and pretending that everything is okay, even when it's not. This attitude, also known as toxic positivity, can have significant emotional consequences and may delay the process of dealing with feelings. It can potentially damage self-esteem, mental health, and connections with others.

Understanding these different approaches to "faking it till you make it" is crucial in utilizing this strategy effectively, particularly in the context of recovery. It's important to remember that while this strategy can be a useful tool, it's equally essential to confront and address emotions and challenges honestly and constructively.

Healthy Ways to Fake It

In the realm of personal development and mental health recovery, the phrase "fake it until you make it" can often be misunderstood. However, when applied correctly and healthily, it can serve as a powerful tool for growth and transformation. Here are three ways to apply this concept in a healthy manner.

Acting As If

One interpretation of "faking it" involves "acting as if." This strategy aligns behaviors and attitudes with the person one wants to become. It's a form of self-direction where one visualizes their future self and starts acting in ways that align with that vision. Techniques like positive affirmations and vision boards can support this version of faking it [1].

For example, if an individual is struggling with confidence, they might start acting as if they are confident, even when they don't feel it. Over time, this can help them internalize these behaviors and attitudes, ultimately improving their self-confidence.

Nod and Smile Technique

Another way to "fake it" is through the "nod and smile" technique. This can be particularly useful in social situations where one might feel out of place or uncomfortable. By nodding and smiling, one can keep conversations moving along and preserve emotional energy.

However, it's important to note that pretending to know something when one doesn't can lead to impostor syndrome and hinder growth and learning. Therefore, while the "nod and smile" technique can be a helpful tool, it should be used sparingly and not as a means of avoiding personal growth or learning opportunities [1].

Pretending Everything's Fine

Lastly, some individuals might interpret "faking it" as pretending that everything is fine, even when it's not. While this approach can provide temporary relief from emotional discomfort, it can have negative emotional consequences in the long run. This attitude, known as toxic positivity, can damage self-esteem, mental health, and connections with others [1].

However, science supports adopting a "fake it till you make it" attitude in certain situations. Studies show that pretending to be more positive, such as "smiling through the pain" or adopting a "power posing" stance of confidence, can help individuals move towards the emotions they are pretending to experience, resulting in physiological and behavioral changes.

In conclusion, "faking it until you make it" can be a beneficial strategy when used appropriately. It's key to use it as a tool for growth rather than a mask for avoiding personal issues or feelings. Remember, the goal is not to become someone else, but to grow into the best version of oneself.

Emotional Impact of Faking It

The emotional impact of faking it until you make it can vary depending on the individual and context. While it may assist some people in coping with their circumstances, it can also lead to feelings of impostor syndrome, toxic positivity, and other mental health consequences.

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome refers to the phenomenon where individuals doubt their accomplishments and harbor a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. Faking it by "nod and smile", or pretending to know something when you don't, can lead to impostor syndrome, hindering growth and learning. The constant fear of being discovered can lead to anxiety, stress, and reluctance to take on new opportunities.

Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity refers to the overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state, leading to the denial, minimization, and invalidation of genuine human emotional experience. When individuals fake it by "pretending everything's fine", it can result in emotional consequences and delay the process of dealing with feelings. This attitude can damage self-esteem, mental health, and connections with others [1]. Obstacles and losses are features of human life, and an overload of positivity won’t make pain hurt any less.

Mental Health Consequences

Pretending not to have a mental illness can have serious consequences. When someone denies their mental health struggles, they may deprive themselves of access to treatment and support that could help them recover. This can lead to a cycle of isolation, shame, and worsening symptoms. Additionally, the stress of pretending can significantly affect a person’s mental and physical health, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression [4].

However, it's also important to note that adopting a "fake it till you make it" attitude can have some positive effects. Studies indicate that pretending to experience a more positive outlook can lead to physiological and behavioral changes [2]. This approach can assist individuals in moving towards the emotions they are pretending to experience. However, care must be taken to avoid slipping into toxic positivity or denial of real emotional struggle.

In conclusion, while the "fake it till you make it" strategy can be beneficial in certain circumstances, it's crucial to acknowledge and address genuine feelings and seek professional help when necessary.

Faking It in Mental Health Recovery

The journey to mental health recovery can be a complex process, requiring a delicate balance between acceptance and resilience. The concept of 'faking it until you make it' can sometimes play a crucial role in this journey.

Importance of Seeking Help

In the context of mental health recovery, the phrase 'in recovery sometimes you fake it until you make it' can imply the importance of seeking help, even when an individual might feel hesitant or resistant. It is crucial for individuals living with a mental illness to seek help and support. This can mean reaching out to loved ones, seeking a therapist, or connecting with mental health support groups. It can be challenging to take that first step, but seeking help is a brave and important act of self-care. Mental illness is a treatable condition, and there is no shame in asking for help.

Consequences of Denial

Denying or pretending not to have a mental illness can have serious consequences. When someone denies their mental health struggles, they may deprive themselves of access to treatment and support that could help them recover. This can lead to a cycle of isolation, shame, and worsening symptoms. Additionally, the stress of pretending can significantly affect a person’s mental and physical health, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression.

Breaking Stigma

There is a pressing need to break the stigma associated with mental health. The pressure to pretend everything is fine can overwhelm those with mental illness. There is a pervasive belief that mental illness is a sign of weakness or personal failure, which can make people feel ashamed and embarrassed about their experiences. As a result, many individuals feel the need to hide their struggles, pretending to be happy and healthy even when they are not.

Recognizing the harmful impact of this stigma is important. Stigma perpetuates the idea that mental illness is a personal failure or a choice when in reality, it is a medical condition. By breaking down the stigma, we can create a more supportive and inclusive society that recognizes the value and worth of all individuals, regardless of their mental health status [4].

Practical Strategies for Faking It

The concept of "fake it until you make it" can be an empowering tool in the journey towards recovery. However, it requires the application of practical strategies to be truly effective. Here, we delve into three primary strategies: finding inspiration, acknowledging successes, and dealing with difficult emotions.

Finding Inspiration

One of the first steps in the process of "faking it" towards recovery involves finding inspiration. This can be achieved by identifying and emulating a person whose approach to life aligns with the desired positive change. As suggested by Sustain Recovery, initiating a discussion about who they admire and why can inspire individuals to stay committed to their path towards recovery.

Acknowledging Successes

Recognizing and celebrating small victories is another crucial strategy in the "fake it until you make it" approach. When a moment of success follows a period of "faking it", it's important to acknowledge it. As Sustain Recovery advises, writing down these successes can serve as a positive reminder and future inspiration. This practice encourages self-confidence and reinforces the belief that progress is being made, even if it's not immediately apparent.

Dealing with Difficult Emotions

The journey towards recovery often involves dealing with difficult emotions such as anxiety, stress, and dread. Part of "faking it" involves acknowledging these emotions and learning how to manage them effectively. According to a study by Biomed Central, practicing gratitude, savoring positive experiences, and working with personal strengths can increase positive emotions and improve self-judgment and interpersonal relationships.

While facing these emotions can be challenging, it's crucial to remember that they are part of the recovery process. In the same study, it was reported that self-compassion exercises could trigger difficult experiences. However, these exercises also led to decreased self-judgment and increased compassion towards oneself and others.

By employing these strategies, individuals can effectively utilize the "fake it until you make it" approach as a tool for recovery. It's important to remember that this process is not about denying or suppressing emotions, but rather about learning to navigate through them towards a healthier state of being. Through finding inspiration, acknowledging successes, and dealing with difficult emotions, the journey towards recovery can become a more empowering and positive experience.

Debates on Faking It Till You Make It

The concept of "Fake it until you make it" has sparked heated debates among professionals, psychologists, and life coaches. The discussions center around the potential implications this approach has on success, mental health, authenticity, and the pursuit of genuine choices.

Success vs. Mental Health

The "Fake it until you make it" mantra is often propagated in the professional world, with figures like Richard Branson popularizing it in recruitment scenarios [5]. The principle suggests that by emulating successful behaviors and attitudes, one can eventually achieve the same level of success.

However, critics argue that this approach, while potentially leading to short-term gains, could come at the cost of sacrificing one's time, morals, and mental well-being. They suggest that constant pretense can lead individuals to work in roles they are not passionate about and live lives they do not want. This, in turn, could potentially trigger mental health challenges, midlife crises, marital issues, and career setbacks.

Authenticity vs. Pretense

Another aspect of the debate revolves around the tension between authenticity and pretense. The "Fake it until you make it" approach can inadvertently encourage individuals to pretend to be something they are not. This can lead to a disconnection between their true selves and the persona they project to the world, ultimately causing emotional distress and dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, advocates for authenticity argue that it's vital to be true to oneself and not engage in pretense in the pursuit of success. They suggest that it's more important to focus on genuine passion and pursuits, which they believe will lead to more fulfilling and sustainable success [5].

Making Genuine Choices

The "Fake it until you make it" ideology can also influence the choices people make, both in their personal and professional lives. By prioritizing the outward appearance of success, individuals might make decisions that are not in line with their true desires or values.

Critics warn against the detrimental effects of this mentality, advocating instead for making genuine choices that align with one's personal values and passions. They argue that the world doesn't value making more money as much as it values making the right choices in life. By focusing on authenticity and making decisions based on personal passion and integrity, individuals can avoid the pitfalls of pretense and lead more fulfilling lives [5].

In conclusion, the "Fake it until you make it" approach has its advocates and detractors, and it's essential to consider the potential implications of this mindset on success, mental health, authenticity, and the pursuit of genuine choices.